It was a very full weekend, and I haven't had time to do more than glance at LJ from my Dash since Friday late afternoon. And while I can read LJ on my gadget and make posts of my own, I still haven't figured out how to make it submit comments.

In brief: game was a lot of fun on Saturday, even though an angry ghost murdered several of our passengers and a couple of crew members. I managed to combine diplomacy and fast-talk to persuade three security cruisers not to "purify" us by blasting out of existence, thus winning the extra experience point awarded by my fellow players.

On Sunday I experienced embarrassment to the point of mortification when returning to my old church for a visit, followed by disappointment by the spa treament I had been looking forward to. By mid-afternoon, _storyteller_ and I decided to just go back to my house and spend time with my daughter rather than venture out to a workshop we had been contemplating.

Life got much better then. I made a fire in the fireplace. We cuddled. The daughter announced that she is ready to have her own room! So we spent some time looking at how we would transform The Yellow Room from catch-all space into a pre-teen's bedroom. uncrowned_king showed up a little later, and the grown-ups watched Dangerous Beauty while the daughter played a computer game.

Now it's back to the routine of the day job, made more pleasant by the possibility of lunch with Jeannie on Wednesday, a definitely lunch date with kateri_thinks on Thursday, and some ideas for a new story hopping around in the back of my head.

This morning I returned to worship with the local Swedenborgian congregation for the first time in over a year. It is a 30-40 minute drive to get there from my home, and for a long time I simply did not have the energy on Sunday mornings. Besides, while I was attending seminary, it fulfilled my need for involvement in spiritual community. But since I'm on a leave from school right now, I don't have that community, and I've been missing it.

It was good to be back, welcomed with hugs and friendly questions about where I'd been and what I've been doing, with lots of gasps of surprise and admiration about how my daughter is growing up. I was invited to take part in the opening ritual, which is always a pleasure. It is a very small congregation, with only 20-30 people (at most) there on any given Sunday, so it's not a place where one can slip in and out without being noticed.

Each Sunday, the service begins with centering, then group singing, then a welcome, a children's message, and then the children are dismissed to Sunday School. Then there is the official 'opening ritual.'

The altar is set with a closed Bible, a center candle, and four smaller candles. Two people from the congregation come forward. One opens the Bible and says, "We open the Bible, one of many sacred writings in the world, as a symbol that God's Word is open and available to all." Then there is a quotation from one of the world's sacred scriptures or spiritual elders.

This morning, I read the words of an Australian Aboriginal elder who spoke of the Dreamtime. The last words were: "Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love. . . and then we return home." I found it particularly lovely to be given those words today since my studies over the past few months have been focused on shamanism.

Then the center candle is lit with these words: "We light the flame to remind us that the light of Divine Wisdom and the warmth of Divine Love are ever present." Followed by another quotation. [According to Swedenborgian doctrine, Love and Wisdom are the two fundamental attributes of God.]

The four outer candles are lit to the following words, each then followed by a quotation.
"We honor the good and truth found in all spiritual traditions."
"We honor and support the variety of individual paths which together make our one spiritual community."
"We honor an enlightened Christianity found in the writings of Emanuel Swedenborg, who wrote. . . "
"We honor and provide an open and safe place for all who seek a greater understanding and a life of deepening spirituality."

( This morning's quote from Swedenborg sums up very nicely why, if I identify myself with any Christian denomination, I identify as Swedenborgian. )

For our closing ceremony, we stand and form a circle with joined hands. Names are offered and repeated by the group as a prayer, and then we close with a simple benediction song sung to the tune of Eidelweiss. The song is particularly special to me because it was also frequently used as a closing hymn in the church where I grew up. This morning as I started to sing, I felt the tie going back to those roots. I would never have expected to find myself where I am today, spiritually speaking -- but I also know that if I went back to that church where I grew up, I would also be greeted with love and with friendly questions. I'm sure the reactions to where I am now in my spiritual life would be mixed, but I am also sure that most of them would do their best to try to understand, out of love.

Got up at 5:00 yesterday and today to exercise for the first time in forever. Both days it didn't go quite the way I expected, but I did work up a sweat both times, so that puts me ahead of the game. I've learned a few things: don't open my email before starting a work-out (because I won't get up again), oatmeal does make a good pre-workout breakfast, and it distresses my daughter when I wear headphones when I do the treadmill because she can't hear me. (My Ex's latest waifs/his SO's daughter and two grandkids, are now sleeping above that room, so I can't just blast the music). So Friday night I'm going to remind her that I'm going to up be up and on the treadmill with headphones and not able to hear her, instead of waking her up briefly in the morning, which has been our usual practice. Alternate days are weight lifting in the living room, and she can hear that.

I won't be able to meet with my shamanic teacher for a while because of financial issues, but we're going to keep in touch via email. She's working on opening a shamanic healing practice, and has asked me to journey on the topic of whether or not I want to embark on specific training to be part of that. That's exciting, and will require serious reflection. One thing is certain, however: I am not going to quit my dayjob to become part of a full-time entreprenuerial undertaking again. I've done start-ups twice, and it has not worked out well. (Well, the rocket company was a marvelous experience -- until it shut down.) I can't afford to disrupt steady income right now. Besides, not all clients will be able to visit during the day, so someone has to be available to work evenings and weekends, right?

Tuesday morning I got out my Covey planner and decided on three goals to pursue. They are: fitness -- get my weight down to 130 pounds and/or feel good about how I look; finish my novel by the end of the year (that is, have the entire story written out, all narrative gaps filled); and to finish developing and teach my workshop "The Lamp and the Mirror: Illuminating and Reflecting on Personal Theology." I don't have a finish date on that one. Maybe by the of the year I will have a place/time set to teach it, even if it isn't until after the first of the year.

Exercise six days a week, work on the novel every day. Those are my two big goals.

Weather permitting, The Child and I go to a smaller regional zoo on Saturday, then to my parents house with some LOTR movies to take advantage of their new flatscreen tv, and then on Sunday I'm going back to my Swedenborgian church, where I haven't really been in attendance since my unfortunate learning experience as president of the church board.

As always, reading LJ puts me behind schedule. Better hurry to get to work. I've been reading everyone, but not commenting much. Hope to do better over the next few days.

I'm not sure quite what happened over the holidays, but my brain seems to have shifted into neutral for the past several weeks, and I've found myself with little of substance to share. OK, one major contributing factor was a sudden necessity for attending to a persistent, numbing activity at work; the other drag was spending too many hours downloading tunes to my new iPod. The combination left me in a mucky mental fog. But my first session of weekend class is coming up this next Saturday, and I've been reading to prepare, so I'm slowly coming out of it.

In other news. . .

( Board President )

( Job Interview )


( Peter Pan )

I've been keeping up with my LJ friends' entries, even though I haven't been leaving many comments lately. I so enjoy and appreciate the variety of interests and perspectives, both serious and humorous, that you all share with me from day to day!

Belated Solstice, Christmas and New Years greetings, Everyone!

I didn't plan to take an LJ hiatus, but that's how things worked out.

I had a lovely Christmas Eve with my parents, my daughter, a beautifully prepared prime rib roast, and my brand-new, 15-gig iPod. (My parents love me!) It was a week before I was able to stop stroking it and whispering "My precioussss" - and I'm still ripping .mp3's from my CD collection and downloading them. I'm at close to 600 tracks on the iPod now, with 12 gig of memory still available to me. (One of the reasons I haven't been on LJ is that all my at-home computer time has been monopolized with music processing.)

The first thing that went on the iPod was the soundtrack to The Return of the King. On December 26th I was climbing the eight flights of stairs up to my desk and listening to "The Black Gate Opens". Which was lovely, except for the fact that I had just seent RotK for the second time on Christmas Day, and that scene before the gate was fresh in my mind, so by the time I reached the door to the eighth floor I was weeping. Fortunately, there are few people at work at 7am on the day after Christmas, so no one saw me.

I wept several times during my second viewing of RotK, starting with the charge of the Rohirrim at Pelennor Field, and then off and on through the end. I enjoyed it more the second time, probably because I no longer was in the grip of anticipation and fear that it would not live up to my hopes. I'm already looking forward to the DVD release, because there are several scenes indicated in some of the tie-in books that didn't make the final cut of the theatrical release.

Our pastor is on a working vacation in Aruba for two weeks (presiding at a wedding, with travel expenses paid!), so I'm in charge of the two services following Christmas. Last week went well, and I'm looking forward to tomorrow, although I have a lot of work to do on my sermon. Once that's done, I'll start my serious prep reading for my weekend class on "Christology" which starts January 16th.

Life is good.

Here it is Monday, and I feel like I never had a weekend -- but I actually had a fairly good one.

( Weekend Stuff & The Week to Come )